Seriously though, like the title says. I come across as a pretty aggressive and witty guy who won't let you get away with fowling up an insult and saying something stupid. Of course, I expect my friends to call me out on it as well. But occasionally I make mistakes. Nobody is perfect, and most definitely me (although I am kinda close to it). The problem with making mistakes is that it tends to hurt people. Half the time I don't even know I'm doing it, hurting people that is. Lately of course I've been trying to be more aware of it, as sometimes it comes across to the people I actually care about to be in a serious tone instead of a half mocking tone. Of course there are always those times when I just actually make a mistake that doesn't involve any witty retort that was offensive. And I do pray that in those circumstances that the people that were hurt realize that I'm really not that mean at my core. Really, I swear! With that in mind I'm sure the people who actually know me will understand that.
Staring into the Mountains and Beyond
So this last weekend was a busy one as I was in Arizona. Ya ya, why would anyone go to Arizona, right? I don't know. Never figured it out. Because it's cheap? Whatever. Not worth it. Anyways. On the way back I was staring out into the distance. I'm sure everyone has done this at one point or another in their life, watch as the things in the distance move slower then the things closest to you. But that's just it right there. I really found a crazy metaphorical and philosophical outlook to this whole "distance staring thing". It's so simple, that I couldn't believe I hadn't realized it before. We stare out into the distance at the mountains, and watch as they get closer and start to move by faster. While at the same time the things right in front of us move by so fast that it's hard to even notice or acknowledge them. I think it's the same for life. Say the mountains are our goals, right? And the little bushes and trees and fences or what have you in front are just the small obstacles that go by real fast when we get past them. It seems like the "mountains" are SOOO far away, and yet each passing second we're actually getting closer. Another way to look at it is this; The Mountains could be something we don't have, something we want. We're so focused on those mountains and the distance it is from us and how impossible it seems to reach it, that we lose sight of the small things in front of us, and how quickly they are passing us by. I think I fluctuate between the two theories. Sometimes I'm looking at my goals and thinking "This is impossible, so much distance to cover, I'll never get there." But then on the other side of things, I'm thinking in terms of a past relationship, or something I don't have now and how I lost sight of what was right in front of me, and if I wasn't driving by so fast I might have noticed more and appreciated more. Of course this can be taken numerous ways and I've been doing my best to really take sometime and say thank you the friends and family that have been there for me, especially... ESPECIALLY lately as life's little roller coaster is making me kinda sick. But I'm hopeful that a the new track laid out in front of me will have minor bumps and require less maintenance work.
Jerry Springer Never had these final thoughts
My final thoughts on this 3 part blog-fest is gonna be different than previous blogs because I'm adding an element that I don't believe I've added before. Religion. Yes, I'm religious. Christian in fact. And not your typical hypocritical, I do what I want and ask for forgiveness cause I can, type of Christian. I have a pretty good moral compass (which doesn't really pertain to religious stuff) but I also have a very strong faith. With that said I've come across, via my awesome android bible app on my phone, some pretty awesome Bible quotes. Now for starters, many/some of you are not religious, not a believer, not anything really. Sure there's doubts, probably about the Bible. But you can't deny that there's a lot of poetry in the words and when you get right down to it, it's just pretty sweet to read. So without further ado, here's a few I've come across.
Proverbs 15:31-32
If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.
Jeremiah 29:11-12
For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen.
I think that last one, is way more religious than the first. But despite that, I still love it. Hope is a requirement that I'm in need of, and prayer is as well. There's a lot of things swirling around me at the moment and the wind has changed and I'm setting sail soon. Who's on board to help me with my new adventure?
Um, not quite the way I wanted to end this blog. So we'll try it a different way. Thank you. Thank you to all those who have been there for me in my time of need and continue to do so, I'm eternally grateful and blessed to have met you have you in my life. I'm getting stronger on a lot of levels and it's thanks to most of you. Well, that seemed to be more personal than I thought. *shrug* not like anyone reads this brain vomit anyways, right?
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