Thanksgiving is by far the greatest of all the holidays. It's the least tainted of all the holidays and has an absolute purity that you can't just escape. Plus... what's better than a holiday where all you have to do is eat?! (and eat and eat and eat and eat). Society and commercialism have pretty much ruined all the other holidays with all their "buy me" crap. Sure you get some of that stuff for Thanksgiving, but it's really just sales on food. FOOD!!! Good food too! Turkey, bread rolls, mashed potatoes... MASHED POTATOES! (and gravy) and corn and .... *droooooool. I love it. Spending time with family and laughing and goofing off. Growing up I was always happy for this holiday. I've never really had the Christmas bug . My sisters do, my mom does... my dad... holy crap. My dad always bought more decorations after Christmas was over, for next year. The only job I ever had to do was put lights up on the house. Not too bad cause I got to climb up on the roof. But if there was one rule my family had, it was no Christmas till AFTER Thanksgiving. Well... I guess that was more my rule than anything else. No Christmas music or anything Christmas till after midnight. If there's one thing I miss it's that my WHOLE family isn't here. My awesome sister Susi and her awesome fiance(my awesome future brother in law) aren't here. When my parents, and both my sister's are here and me... I guarantee you wouldn't be able to make it through even 10 minutes of dinner without laughing. The one liner jokes, the inside jokes, the crazy humor, the ridiculousness, the childish behavior. I love it all.
Unless some form of presents or gifts suddenly became synonymous with Thanksgiving, there's no way that this holiday could be ruined and tainted by commercialism. I find it so awesome that there aren't even any major films and cartoons about this holiday as there are for Christmas. Ya ya ya, there's a few... but I don't count the snoopy cartoons. Still though. It's an awesome holiday. So what if it traces back to some crappy historical moment where we ripped off some half naked people, right now... what it means today... to me... is friggin' awesome.
I could start listing, like everyone else has, the things I'm thankful for. But really where would I start? Family, friends, religious beliefs, opportunities, skills, health... the list could go on forever. Just looking around my room I can think of a few things... The Muppets, Mel Brooks, Nintendo, Cartoons. But really... what it comes down to... what I'm most grateful to have...
Love
Corny and cheesy. But really. Let's be honest here, I know I am. Love in all aspects of the word. It really encompasses everything when you think about it. The capacity to feel it, even just a little bit so that it's just a "like" feeling, all the way to the more intense feeling that you still hold on to for one that has passed on. Being able to feel that, and/or remember how it felt to have it or give it... JUST being ABLE TO. That's an amazing gift. Without being able to feel love you couldn't do ANYTHING. Think about it. The passion that drives you, having friends, doing things, maybe it's not LOVE per-say, maybe it's a dumbed down version of it where it's just a "like" feeling... but it's still there.
So, what am I thankful for? I'm thankful for being able to feel love. To know what it feels like from family, from friends, and what it felt like to have it in a relationship. Because without being able to feel that feeling, or enjoy that feeling, I would never have the passion, the drive, the family, the friends, or anything that keeps me going each day.
I promised myself I wouldn't do this... *sniff sniff*... hahahahaha.
I can't wait to eat... Enjoy your amazing day my friends... live it and love it. You only got one life... unless you believe in reincarnation then you have a lot of them, but you won't remember this one, so enjoy it like it's the only one you got, jerk.
*note
I think it sucks that the spellchecker will underline christmas because it isn't capitalized but thanksgiving is fine like that. Screw you spellchecker. It's Thanksgiving, not thanksgiving.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Things of Some Thoughts
I write to get things that I have been thinking of out of my skull. I find it quite therapeutic in a non invasive way as people can choose to read what I write or not. I get my release and if people get some information about me, or it (for reasons beyond my comprehension) inspires others or get's their brain running, then good for them. Was that a run on sentence? Doesn't matter. I suppose I do that often anyways.
So, on with the blog. Lately, and by lately I mean the last 2 or 3 weeks, I've been thinking of my grandfather on my mother's side. He passed on a year ago this last Friday. Now like most people, I don't deal well with death. Not by at all really. Seriously, I usually just try to avoid the whole thing. My most recent x actually helped me to deal with the death of my dog only after 2 or 3 years of ignoring the sadness that I had bottled up. I'm thankful for that moment because years later I was able to somehow deal with my grandfather passing. I know I know, two totally different kind of deaths, but you get the point. A loved one is a loved one, regardless of species I suppose. (that still doesn't sound very good does it? whatever.)
Another reason I write is because my memory is absolutely horrible. And there is some kind of a hope that I might be able to preserve my memory if anything through some random online blog. Of course, I might forget the web address for it, which wouldn't be too useful would it. Anyways, my grandfather was a pretty amazing guy. Knew about 4 languages, had 2 masters, was an absolute amazing piano player of classical music, escaped from the Nazi's twice, was part of and lead an underground resistance against the Nazi's in Holland. Was the biggest goofball you'd meet. He was the happy go lucky quite mad scientist. Seriously. He had a lab with all sorts of crazy equipment and a lab coat to go with it. He was pretty awesome. Word on the street is I'm very much like him, faults and all. Which I'm quite grateful for.
Loss of any kind is quite an oddity huh? If it's an ended friendship, breakup, a separation, a divorce, or even a death; you never forget that person. No matter how hard you try they just stick to the brain like a parasite. Huh... parasite isn't really the best choice of description there is it? I'd say symbiote but my nerd side thinks of "Venom" from Spiderman and that sounds words than a parasite.
Hm. I'm sure there is more I wanted to say, or would like to say, but I can't really think of anything relevant to the subject matter that I choose to write on at this moment. I'm sure I'll be writing again soon, as I want to make sure to get my quota of blogs done that I had promised myself to do this year, and because November and December have always been interesting months for me.
On a side note:
I need more dark chocolate, and the ability to not eat so much and make myself sick. At least now I won't get in trouble if I eat too much of it.
So, on with the blog. Lately, and by lately I mean the last 2 or 3 weeks, I've been thinking of my grandfather on my mother's side. He passed on a year ago this last Friday. Now like most people, I don't deal well with death. Not by at all really. Seriously, I usually just try to avoid the whole thing. My most recent x actually helped me to deal with the death of my dog only after 2 or 3 years of ignoring the sadness that I had bottled up. I'm thankful for that moment because years later I was able to somehow deal with my grandfather passing. I know I know, two totally different kind of deaths, but you get the point. A loved one is a loved one, regardless of species I suppose. (that still doesn't sound very good does it? whatever.)
Another reason I write is because my memory is absolutely horrible. And there is some kind of a hope that I might be able to preserve my memory if anything through some random online blog. Of course, I might forget the web address for it, which wouldn't be too useful would it. Anyways, my grandfather was a pretty amazing guy. Knew about 4 languages, had 2 masters, was an absolute amazing piano player of classical music, escaped from the Nazi's twice, was part of and lead an underground resistance against the Nazi's in Holland. Was the biggest goofball you'd meet. He was the happy go lucky quite mad scientist. Seriously. He had a lab with all sorts of crazy equipment and a lab coat to go with it. He was pretty awesome. Word on the street is I'm very much like him, faults and all. Which I'm quite grateful for.
Loss of any kind is quite an oddity huh? If it's an ended friendship, breakup, a separation, a divorce, or even a death; you never forget that person. No matter how hard you try they just stick to the brain like a parasite. Huh... parasite isn't really the best choice of description there is it? I'd say symbiote but my nerd side thinks of "Venom" from Spiderman and that sounds words than a parasite.
Hm. I'm sure there is more I wanted to say, or would like to say, but I can't really think of anything relevant to the subject matter that I choose to write on at this moment. I'm sure I'll be writing again soon, as I want to make sure to get my quota of blogs done that I had promised myself to do this year, and because November and December have always been interesting months for me.
On a side note:
I need more dark chocolate, and the ability to not eat so much and make myself sick. At least now I won't get in trouble if I eat too much of it.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I'm a bulldozer
I'm making this blog as an example to myself and my friends that read my blogs. I find it odd that on the 20Th year anniversary of the Berlin Wall coming down, that I will also break down my own walls. Many of you have noticed that I have walls, metaphorically speaking of course. I have increased my habits of deflecting many things with my humor and wit, and have also raised barriers from trying to prevent anyone from actually gaining enough depth about me as to actually know what I might be thinking. Then again, it's probably a better idea if you DIDN'T know what I was thinking. Half the time I wish I didn't know what I was thinking... but I digress. The point is that after many (and by many I mean a few, and by few I mean about 3 or less) random people have pointed out to me that I have, for lack of a better term, strong armed or held them at a distance because I have walls. Okay, strong armed is way to strong of a definition but I think you all get my point. It's also amazing to me how simple events in life trigger such a mind altering look into one's soul. Last week I had thought about it, literally... laid down on my bed and thought about it. Well, not for a full hour of course, my brain jumps around too much and concentrating on one thing hardly ever happens. It's more like an episode of Family Guy with constant distractions from the main plot line(thought). Again, I digress. The point is I had thought about it and realized how my various actions and conversations with other various people and incidences completely went a different direction from where I had originally thought they would go. Never did I realize that the walls I had built so high to protect me would actually end up harming me. Sounds lame now that I'm actually typing it, but in reality it's kinda true. It's not entirely bad to be somewhat protective of yourself and such things. But it would be the same as being overprotective of your own child. Being overprotective can lead to many missed opportunities and experiences that would only help the personality grow and learn. Worst part is I had no idea I was doing it. And after some thinking and pondering (and googling) I came up with theories and ideas on how to break down my walls. Finally the conclusion I came to was that I just need to talk with people. Not be so deflective. If I start doing that again, someone let me know, as I'm actually very oblivious to many things. Plus my memory is horrible. And as I'm sure there was more to this little blog I wanted to say, I can't quite remember what it was.
............ oh ya... that's right.
My goal this year was to write 2 blogs a month. I'm a little behind, but after this blog is done, I'm only 2 blogs behind. Which honestly isn't too bad. And whereas I was thinking about actually disconnecting my blog from being connected to facebook (cause this blog is originally written on blogger.com)... I think I might just finish out the year with my blog being connected to the popular social network.
Well I think that's it. I still really feel there was something else I wanted to add, but I just can't.... wait... wait... nope... lost it... wait.... uhhhhhhhhh... nope... nothing.
............ oh ya... that's right.
My goal this year was to write 2 blogs a month. I'm a little behind, but after this blog is done, I'm only 2 blogs behind. Which honestly isn't too bad. And whereas I was thinking about actually disconnecting my blog from being connected to facebook (cause this blog is originally written on blogger.com)... I think I might just finish out the year with my blog being connected to the popular social network.
Well I think that's it. I still really feel there was something else I wanted to add, but I just can't.... wait... wait... nope... lost it... wait.... uhhhhhhhhh... nope... nothing.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Absently minding my own business
The following writing is being written in a sober state of mind... you have been warned.
For a friend:
I'm started thinking about the would be shouldn'ts and the could nots and thought that if I keep thinking about those thoughts that they might turn into the if's and would haves. But if I do that then would that make the shoudn'ts become the ifs and the could nots be the would haves? That's just the beginning of the thoughts that I was thinking I should think about. If I stop thinking about those thoughts and think about the dids and wants and haves and wills then the thinking of thoughts turns into the thoughts about thinking. Which leads to a road much less traveled by others when thinking about those sorts of thoughts. I think it's important to have thoughts about thinking when its calm thinking about not a crazy thought processes involving mind-evolving rock forming season changing issues that could jeapordize the whole world of gravity. Thinks could fall from no where going in an upwards direction and worlds could collide with nothing in it's way making paths for a giant intergalatic highway of emptyness. Ahh the coldness of space, felt right in your own front yard. I'm sure many of you are reading, wondering, thinking... what on earth is he talking about? Well, that's your problem. You're thinking about the wrong thoughts that I've been wondering about. Instead you should be wondering about the thinking I've been pondering instead of the thoughts that I had. I should have been thinking about the will haves and not the will do's... or is it the have do's and will wills. Nah, it's the shouldn't have wouldn'ts and the absolutely will not if dids that will be surrounding my thoughts tonight as I enter into the dream status. But my dreams are different from your dreams. MY dreams have evolved into a fantastical play of misfortune and laughter. Of mercy and chaos. It's a paradoxical realm where dogs and cats never fight. And 10 legged pig monkeys roam free in the forests of Antarctica. Flying anteaters sore through the water with the greatest of ease. Random thoughts of a will do willer is what conquers this world and keeps the intergalactic super traffic in a steady motion of ridiculousness. It's how things were meant to be done. Up is diagonal and down is forward. Trying to count stars only results in the addition of the super math known as 1 + 1 = fish. Thinking about my pondering thoughts and wondering about my curiosities have led to a very disturbing revelation that nearly shatters my vision of a dream. Dreams were never meant to be thought about. Waking up in a world of unrealities confuses the ones that were never there to begin with. It only makes sense once you heard the tree fall in the woods when no one was around.
For a friend:
I'm started thinking about the would be shouldn'ts and the could nots and thought that if I keep thinking about those thoughts that they might turn into the if's and would haves. But if I do that then would that make the shoudn'ts become the ifs and the could nots be the would haves? That's just the beginning of the thoughts that I was thinking I should think about. If I stop thinking about those thoughts and think about the dids and wants and haves and wills then the thinking of thoughts turns into the thoughts about thinking. Which leads to a road much less traveled by others when thinking about those sorts of thoughts. I think it's important to have thoughts about thinking when its calm thinking about not a crazy thought processes involving mind-evolving rock forming season changing issues that could jeapordize the whole world of gravity. Thinks could fall from no where going in an upwards direction and worlds could collide with nothing in it's way making paths for a giant intergalatic highway of emptyness. Ahh the coldness of space, felt right in your own front yard. I'm sure many of you are reading, wondering, thinking... what on earth is he talking about? Well, that's your problem. You're thinking about the wrong thoughts that I've been wondering about. Instead you should be wondering about the thinking I've been pondering instead of the thoughts that I had. I should have been thinking about the will haves and not the will do's... or is it the have do's and will wills. Nah, it's the shouldn't have wouldn'ts and the absolutely will not if dids that will be surrounding my thoughts tonight as I enter into the dream status. But my dreams are different from your dreams. MY dreams have evolved into a fantastical play of misfortune and laughter. Of mercy and chaos. It's a paradoxical realm where dogs and cats never fight. And 10 legged pig monkeys roam free in the forests of Antarctica. Flying anteaters sore through the water with the greatest of ease. Random thoughts of a will do willer is what conquers this world and keeps the intergalactic super traffic in a steady motion of ridiculousness. It's how things were meant to be done. Up is diagonal and down is forward. Trying to count stars only results in the addition of the super math known as 1 + 1 = fish. Thinking about my pondering thoughts and wondering about my curiosities have led to a very disturbing revelation that nearly shatters my vision of a dream. Dreams were never meant to be thought about. Waking up in a world of unrealities confuses the ones that were never there to begin with. It only makes sense once you heard the tree fall in the woods when no one was around.
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