48 minute blog

It's approx. 1:53am.. ok, not approx. it IS 1:53am at the time of this writing. I'm not tired and I don't sleep well as it is if you're curious. And forgive my laziness if I don't have correct grammar and punctuation during the course of this blog as I'm going to kinda just "shut my brain off" and start typing.
As most of you know (whoever that is in the internet world) I've been drawing. I've been drawing a lot. A lot more than I'm used to. Which is awesome. And it's slowly opened my brain up more and more as I continue to draw. But at the same time I've noticed myself become more and more introverted because of it. Now bare with me here as my A.D.D. seems to be pretty close to it's peak at this time of night (3 am is the worst if you're taking notes). I just finished watching the movie "Cashback". It's a foreign film that has easily been pushed to the 20 at least, on my list. It's a story about an insomniac artist who had a bad break up, and is now working the night shift at a grocery store. Eventually he learns that he can litterally stop time. Now there is a LOT of nudity, some british humor, and some amazing art work. Now I'm not typically one for a love story, as I find it unrealisitic and slightly boring, not to mention (depending on my state of mood) depressing. But this story was amazing. The characters are endearing; each one with their own quirky personality. I was drawn into the story line. The artist in me came out multiple times and I almost wanted to pause the movie just so I could draw some of the scenes I saw. I would say it was inspiring, but I honestly don't feel inspiried. But at the same time, I felt that I hadn't wasted time watching it and would gladly watch it again, or try and buy it outright. If you don't mind the foriegn flicks, and a love story, with some crude humor, and a lot of nudity in the way of artistic models posing, then this is a great movie for you. That's a lot of prerequists for a movie, isn't it?
Now on to one the main reasons I started writing. And the only reason I post this blog on a public forum then opposed to my own personal collection of hand writings in a journal or computer text file (cause I don't already have hundreds of those) or my own personal online blog for my eyes only... the only reason I post this hear is that maybe the people that know me best, or have at least read these blogs and have a small inkling of who I am, might be able to offer some insight into my personal dilema. How many times did I jsut say personal? Too many, I know. (focus matt, focus)
Tonight... no... actually, all day today I've been outa sorts. Just... not spacing out as I've done in the past, just not with it. Listless, lifeless, but not lazy. I feel a bit discouraged. I feel a bit impatient. I take that back, I'm growing more impatient. Impatient with people, impatient with my situation, impatient at my own learning speed. I've been having a difficult time pushing forward. There's so many things I want to do, and I want to do them all a week ago, yesterday, or today. I don't want to wait for tomorrow. I know what I want and I want to do it now. But certain restrictions have occured that hold me back from accomplishing such things. I'm tired of people doubting me. I'm going to accomplish everything I set out to do. I'm going to prove that I can do it, and that you "nay-sayers" were wrong. And yes I just said "nay-sayers", so what?
It's not just the impatience though. I'm tired of being where I am. I'm tired of the stagnation that happens around me. I want more change, more excitement. I'm being careful not to get confused with want or need. I remember growing up, I think I went to my dad once or twice and would say the oh-so-famous-words "I NEED it Dad!!". His reply was simple, "You don't need it, you want it. There's a difference, and you need to learn that." Hence the reason I'm being careful for my word choice. I'm not sure what I need anymore. I'm more than positive of what I want. I'm more than aware of my impatienceness. I'm also completely aware of some deepseeded issues that I've previously thought I had delt with, that apparently haven't completely diluted into my subconscious. Maybe it's all those reasons that I'm out of it. I've been trying to focus on the positive of course, as I always try and do. I got a new camera. I've been drawing and quite proud of the word I've done so far. I even got plane tickets to go see my sister in New York with my friend George. I've slowly gotten a tiny bit better at swing dancing. I'm healthy, alive and breathing well. Could I just be discouraged and... not sad... more like bummed out (the term "bummed-out" is one level above sad, so after being bummed-out, then it would sadness, then it would be depression, just a small fyi)... where was I? oh right, blah blah blah, discouraged, bummed-out... because... uh... because... hmmm... well I got nothing. I don't exactly know why. Some things kinda get me down a little bit, but not one thing completely really bums me out. Sure I know things could be worse, and I'm almost positive I'll hear from somebody about how crappy life is for them. But honestly, does that make anyone feel better?? Not to sound selfish here or anything, I mean it is my blog and all, but honestly. When you are talking to someone and just kinda whining and complaining about how crappy things are, do you REALLY wanta hear about the crappiness that someone else is having?? I don't think so. You complain and "bitch" because you want them to just listen, nod and smile and maybe give some positive feedback to help you unfocus on the crap that you feel might be your life. Sure things could be worse. Hell, things could be a LOT worse. You could have no legs, or no arms, or have to use a computer to talk for you. You could be severely mangeled in a car accident and no even reconizable by your own family. Ya, that would suck. You could lose your hands... YOUR HANDS! Do you have ANY idea how much that would SUCK!? You could grab anything. Ya, I've thought of that. But you know what, that's not my problem right now, and there's no point in thinking about that.

Did I just rant? hahaha. I think did. I honestly have no idea what I've just writen. Hopefully it wasn't too much of a "bitch fest". I've been pretty good about not doing that. I suppose just needed to rant some stuff. I have no idea who actually reads this, not to mention that I really don't care. It's more or less just something I can put out there to prove that I have nothing to hide. My stomach hurts... did I eat today? eh.
I'm never good at ending these things. Well at least not today... so how about a picture to go along with this? I drew it on the computer, not bad huh? I added my own personal watermark to it, hopefully nobody steals it. 2:40am. I've almost been writing for a full hour. Is that good?


P.S. I hit my two blogs for the month, should I stop while I'm ahead?

Title goes here

So let's see, last time I wrote I bragged about my family. Apparently I only wrote once last month. I'll try and aim for two times this month. I suppose I should just cover the bases here and give a brief update but then, who reads this blog anyways? Eh, I'll do it for prosperity's sake.
So as everyone knows by now, I've been swing dancing... A LOT. I've been trying to get better at it and be more comfortable with new moves and eventually maybe possibly start trying to get some new stylized foot work, maybe. I've learned that I really don't like Balboa, but at the same time it would be nice to be able to dance to it on a fast song. So with that said, I'm pushing through my dislike for it and going to continue to better myself by learning something I don't get very easily.
Aside from the dancing 3 to 4 times a week, I've been drawing a lot more. I've been doing some comic-strip in a newsletter for the dance studio I attend. It's pretty cool, I've been getting back in it and it's fun. I've also been working on a website for a friend of mine, it's turning out pretty good. If you anyone plans on going to a club in LA hit me up, I know a guy... hahaha. But seriously, I know a guy.
Check out his site http://goodlyfentertainment.com/
I'm still working on it, and a substantial update will be arriving soon. Just know that I created the logo and everything from scratch. I'm quite proud of it.
I also started playing with my flipvideo camera some more, I made a small 11 second video that turned out kinda cool. Nothing special, but again, I'm proud of it cause it was a cool simple effect I could do with some simple editing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzJhNeHm4Mk

So ya, let's see, drawing a comic strip, animating a website, making some videos, swing dancing... Oh ya... I guess I'll do my movie review now.

I saw X-men Origins: Wolverine tonight. To keep it real simple here.
I felt the acting was decent. How well can you really act as a superhero without going too cheesy? Am I right?
The story was good and pretty solid. Not much of a plot twist, but still intriguing and creative.
The writing was also pretty good, except for some cheesy one liners or other random things that just came off TOO cliche for my liking.
At this point I'd just like to say that I really enjoyed the movie, I probably wouldn't mind seeing it again, but I'll probably wait till video. I'm a huge comic book nerd (more DC than Marvel) and I really enjoyed seeing some of these super heroes and villains duke it out and show off their strengths. The only problem I had with the whole movie was the special effects. I expected more. A lot more. In the second movie Nightcrawler did some amazing stuff. He's not in this one of course, but being that technology has advanced since then and special effects of that particular caliber have gone down maybe a little bit in price, it would only be a likely assumption that the quality of "special effects" would go up. But no. Green effects were a bit shotty at times and poor Wolverine's claws looked more like inflatable gloves then actual metal knives sticking out of his hands. I could have made better looking claws with foil, cardboard, and those hulk gloves. Maybe it's just my supernerdom coming out, or the fact that most of the super hero movies I've seen in the theaters were with other animators, and their picky-ness of computer animation wore off on me. Who knows. All I know is that it got to me and bugged me in certain scenes.
But like I said, all in all it was a great movie and I highly recomend seeing it on the big screen. Maybe just not with so many obnoxious smartass screaming nerds.

So ya, I suppose that's it. 3:16am and I'm still not tired. I should be due to all the weird dreams and lack of sleep I've had for the past two weeks. Really weird colorful and slightly fantastic dreams. Fantastic as in "Willy Wonka's waterfall candyland paradise" fantastic, not fantastic as in "I just woke up and feel so Zip-a-dee-do-dah happy I look high" fantastic. I know that made sense. and if it didn't read it again till it does.

P.S. I'm not Robin a n y m o r e. HA!