An interesting turn of events tonight. And, being that it is 2:15 AM, I figured what better time to start writing and blogging about my night. My night started off as any other night, go out with friends to a bar. Typically, as habit, I tend to have only a few drinks and feel pretty good, not blitzed like most of the people there. Tonight. like any other, was just like that; have a few drinks and relax with a good atmosphere and feed off of the energy. That's another thing that I do; feed off the energy. I'm an extroverted introvert, which I feel I may have stated before, which basically means that I enjoy being outgoing and friendly, as long as I have the energy off of the atmosphere to considerably enhance that feeling. Tonight being no different.
Now, another thing I feel I must state. I read people. I don't call it judging, because I believe in the science of non-verbal behavior. And I've tried to train myself in the ways of (lack of a better term) the force. And if there's something else people don't know, it's that I don't like to waste my time. Sure, I'm interested in a lot of different people, but if I don't feel something immediatly, then I'm not pursuing. The biggest problem with this logic is that it only insists itself upon bar patrons. Because, well, let's be honest... it's a FRIGGIN' BAR! Seriously? Look at these people. It's not much further than the outrageousness that Hollywood or "The Media" paints. It's a bunch of incoherant, mentally challenged, intoxicated morons, just trying to get their jollys off. Jollys is an old term meaning, sexual feelings, for those of you who can't understand what I meant (why are you reading my blog?)
Sure, I might sound jaded. But when is the last time you were at the bar. Yes, I love the energy a bar can give me. It's positive and typically very happy (everyone is drunk off their butt). But it's also a sesspool for retardation and low standards.
Anyways, before I go completely off the rails, tonight was interesting. I had a great conversation with a female friend of mine tonight after the bar. Instead of looking and reading various people and immediately deciding I didn't want to waste my time, I should try and make friends. More friends. More and more and more and more; because maybe one of them will get the clue and realized how awesome I truly am.
Plus, as I've started to reazlie, maybe it's good practice for me, since I want to go into the acting business, and any kind of training would be great.
Okay, I'm sleepy, finally. Good night world.
*hours later*
Aaaaannndddd.... I'm up.
So, the last month or so has given me a plethora of dreams, good and nightmarish. Not that great, quite honestly. Typically, I can have a dream, and figure out why I was having it, based off of some emotional turmoil or struggle going on in my waking life. Of course, I'm not like other people who might make up something: "Oh, so the tree burning must represent my passion for the camping, so I have to be a feeling that way about it!" No. That's dumb. I do a proper analyzation of exactly what I'm going through in my life and try and figure out what has be rocked enough that my brain has to talk to me in my sleep.
Unfortunately, the last two months, I couldn't figure it out. But I think I'm finally starting to get it.
Everyone goes through ups and downs in life; jobs, relationships, money, health. I've done my part in partaking in those ups and downs. Granted, it's not as bad as some, and I recognize that. But let's keep in mind that this is MY blog. So for the sake of being selfish and self-centered, we'll talk about me now. K? (they were all out of sarcastic font at the store)
I believe, that most people, healthy minded people, after a relationship, take a break from the dating scene/world and figure out their own crap. Which, I have done. But never has it occured to me, that you can actually continue to learn once you make the choice to start dating again. Wait, wait, that didn't come out right. I know people are always learning. Life is just a giant school for learning, and it never stops. What I'm getting at is that there are things that I didn't think I would still need to learn after taking that break. I imagine that once you get to a point of confidence in being by yourself, you might choose to start dating. Because, heck, if I'm this awesome by myself, I should be totally awesome with someone too.
But after a few failed attempts at dating, that confidence gets rocked a bit, and the emotion of lonliness can sink in. Which, I think is something I haven't felt in a while, and I didn't think I would again. I suppose everyone does, but it's still odd to me. I still have confidence, but yet, I'm.... damn it brain, keep up.
Now, another thing I feel I must state. I read people. I don't call it judging, because I believe in the science of non-verbal behavior. And I've tried to train myself in the ways of (lack of a better term) the force. And if there's something else people don't know, it's that I don't like to waste my time. Sure, I'm interested in a lot of different people, but if I don't feel something immediatly, then I'm not pursuing. The biggest problem with this logic is that it only insists itself upon bar patrons. Because, well, let's be honest... it's a FRIGGIN' BAR! Seriously? Look at these people. It's not much further than the outrageousness that Hollywood or "The Media" paints. It's a bunch of incoherant, mentally challenged, intoxicated morons, just trying to get their jollys off. Jollys is an old term meaning, sexual feelings, for those of you who can't understand what I meant (why are you reading my blog?)
Sure, I might sound jaded. But when is the last time you were at the bar. Yes, I love the energy a bar can give me. It's positive and typically very happy (everyone is drunk off their butt). But it's also a sesspool for retardation and low standards.
Anyways, before I go completely off the rails, tonight was interesting. I had a great conversation with a female friend of mine tonight after the bar. Instead of looking and reading various people and immediately deciding I didn't want to waste my time, I should try and make friends. More friends. More and more and more and more; because maybe one of them will get the clue and realized how awesome I truly am.
Plus, as I've started to reazlie, maybe it's good practice for me, since I want to go into the acting business, and any kind of training would be great.
Okay, I'm sleepy, finally. Good night world.
*hours later*
Aaaaannndddd.... I'm up.
So, the last month or so has given me a plethora of dreams, good and nightmarish. Not that great, quite honestly. Typically, I can have a dream, and figure out why I was having it, based off of some emotional turmoil or struggle going on in my waking life. Of course, I'm not like other people who might make up something: "Oh, so the tree burning must represent my passion for the camping, so I have to be a feeling that way about it!" No. That's dumb. I do a proper analyzation of exactly what I'm going through in my life and try and figure out what has be rocked enough that my brain has to talk to me in my sleep.
Unfortunately, the last two months, I couldn't figure it out. But I think I'm finally starting to get it.
Everyone goes through ups and downs in life; jobs, relationships, money, health. I've done my part in partaking in those ups and downs. Granted, it's not as bad as some, and I recognize that. But let's keep in mind that this is MY blog. So for the sake of being selfish and self-centered, we'll talk about me now. K? (they were all out of sarcastic font at the store)
I believe, that most people, healthy minded people, after a relationship, take a break from the dating scene/world and figure out their own crap. Which, I have done. But never has it occured to me, that you can actually continue to learn once you make the choice to start dating again. Wait, wait, that didn't come out right. I know people are always learning. Life is just a giant school for learning, and it never stops. What I'm getting at is that there are things that I didn't think I would still need to learn after taking that break. I imagine that once you get to a point of confidence in being by yourself, you might choose to start dating. Because, heck, if I'm this awesome by myself, I should be totally awesome with someone too.
But after a few failed attempts at dating, that confidence gets rocked a bit, and the emotion of lonliness can sink in. Which, I think is something I haven't felt in a while, and I didn't think I would again. I suppose everyone does, but it's still odd to me. I still have confidence, but yet, I'm.... damn it brain, keep up.
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