Givethanksing: Best Holiday

So, my favorite holiday ever is Thanksgiving. My least favorite would have to be Christmas. Don't misinterpret that in thinking that I don't like the "meaning" of Christmas. I do. But corporate America has ruined that holiday. This year they even tried to ruin mine. But instead, made it better. Thanks Corporate America!

I have had some bad Thanksgivings in the past; various relationships preventing me being able to truly enjoy that day with my family. If there's one thing in this world I've learned over the last couple of years, it's that I need my family. Before I go into that tangent, I should explain why this holiday is my favorite.

It's the one day of the whole year designated to be THANKFUL for what we have; food, bed, family and friends. The corporations typically only advertise for Christmas, and the few commercials out there for Thanksgiving is to buy food and celebrate with your family, albeit friends or blood related. I love it. Sure, I can see my family most any day of the year if I wanted to. And I'm constantly always thankful for everything I've learned, gained and even lost. But it's a day I can actually use to reflect back on the lessons I've had to learn. The chaotic life obstacles that I had to figure out how to hurdle, climb, struggle, and grow through. It's a time that I can really appreciate where I came from, how I got here, and who was there for me along the way. I've got some amazing friends who have always been by my side despite my crazy, overly thinking, and sometimes outrageous thought processing. My family who loves me regardless of the horrible life choices I make, and will support me and help me stand back up after I completely fail and fall flat on my face.
I will never forget the family of friends I have that kept their hands out to me and welcomed me into their life, teaching me indirectly through their love for their spouse, for their hobbies, or just for me. For people who don't believe in God, that's fine. But when I look at the people I have in my life, and the situations I have incurred here on this planet; whereas it may not have been as bad for me compared to some; I can only, logically, come to the rightful conclusion that I am blessed. Whatever you want to believe, God, the universe, etc, I know I have been blessed.
I can't completely get behind the idea that "positive people" gravitate to other "positive people" because when we are down and out, people will still show up and help. Gives me hope for humanity in this crazy selfish greedy world.

Now when I say I need my family, I mean it. I've grown to the idea that I don't need anyone, that I only need myself and to be able to rely on just my own abilities. But unfortunately that can only go so far. It's true, I should be able to rely on my own instincts and skills to survive this world. I need to remain an individual and be able to be self-reliant. But when I trip, when I stumble, when I get clumsy and start to slip, it's nice to know that that invisible safety net is there for me; my family. Seeing them this weekend and hanging out with them, spending time with them, laughing, eating, drinking; it's just a gift. I didn't realize how much I feed off of the energy of others, because this has just been a really nice recharge for me. Dinner, games, shopping, movies, laughing, and being lazy with some of the greatest people I know. Just awesome.

Not really sure what else to say but Thank you. Thank you to every person who knows me personally.
Thank you to those who take the time to listen to me. Thank you to those who randomly smile and wave.
Thank you to those friends who laugh at my stupid jokes when they really aren't that funny. Thanks for listening to my stories that I'm sure I've already told you before, yet you listen anyways like it's the first time you heard it. Thanks for dancing with me, even though I may step on your feet, pull your arm too hard, go off beat, and occasionally bump you into someone else on the dance floor. Thank you the hugs. Seriously, thank you for the hugs. I don't care who you are, sometimes you just need a hug and to be told "Hey, you're pretty awesome" (self-confidence only goes so far people). Thanks for the high fives. Thanks for dealing with my crap, hearing me whine, and having a drink with me. Thanks for watching me make mistakes, but not disowning me, completely. Thanks for being a mistake, hahaha. Thanks for helping me learn. Thanks for being an example of love. Thanks for being an example of what not to be; stupid.

But really, thanks for the hugs.

Oh, and thanks for reading.

-Mr. J

Weirdtobe Passions

My Octobers are always so weird and filled with so many odd random crazy memories. I'm not about to get into the gorey details, but I can say that I've met most of my relationships in October, I've had major life experiences in that month, and pretty much anything revolving around romance or the like, has happened in that month. Overall, it's always filled with changes, and learning.  Good times this last month though, that's for  sure. Life is always a wild ride, low points allow you to enjoy the high points even more.
And... that's about all I gotta say about that. What I really wanted to talk about was passion.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, passion. I have a lot of friends that are driven and have some serious life passions. For instance, I have plenty of friends who are incredibly passionate about their dancing. They constantly go out, improve, learn, compete, and listen to all things related to their particular dance style and genre. They are constantly striving to better themselves and their skills and will constantly pursue that arena for the sheer fact that they feel so strongly about it. It's admirable and inspiring.

I feel like everyone has something that they are crazy about; their kids, their wife, their job, their hobbies, tons of things. But I think there's something important here. Whereas this is all great and fine, I think that as soon as someone defines themselves by that passion, they risk some serious insanity.
Think about it, if that person defines themselves as "I am, because of [job] or [hobby] or [person]" and then that object/skill is suddenly stripped from them, then they would completely lose all sense of self and fall into some chaotic form of depression or self loathing. Defining yourself by your passions is potential for self destruction.

On the flip side of this, I've tried to figure out what I'm passionate about. And I couldn't think of anything. There isn't one thing that I could live without. I'd rather not include family and friends on this subject, as I love them dearly and obviously wouldn't want to lose any of them. But to have something that I enjoy thoroughly and have become driven to succeed at, or passionate about, I can't think of any one thing in particular. Sure, I love doing a lot of things; dancing, artwork, writing, running, hiking, video games, etc etc. But I'm not dependant about that stuff. And luckily, I've never defined myself by what I do, wear, or who/what I know. I know who I am, I don't need something or someone to define who I am to other people. I let my personality and words/actions do that for me.

I suppose if I'm going to have to pick something I'm passionate about, it's that I'm passionate about having fun. Sure, that might be a completely weak and go-to lame excuse, but it's the only thing that makes sense to me. I love making people laugh. I love having fun, being witty and sarcastic, and being able to lighten the mood, even if it's uncalled for. But even still, to say I'm passionate about any of that, doesn't really fit the definition that I've already set prior in this entry.

Personally, I feel like I should have SOMETHING that motivates me and gets me excited, but the truth is, I'm excited to do anything fun and awesome. Despite my past personality quirks, I really do love a good challenge, and enjoy the accomplishment of finishing that task, learning that skill, and saying "Hey, I did that, I may have totally sucked at it, but I tried it!" So that's still a win in my book.

Maybe I just haven't found that thing to drive me. Maybe I should just pick a direction and drive there. Maybe I should just hire someone to drive for me. Maybe I'll just learn to fly instead. Up, Up and AWWWWWWWAAAAAAYYYY!