Oh ya. It has a smell. You might not smell it right now, but someday. Someday my good man, you'll smell the smell of a clear mind, body and soul. I must admit, of all the years I've had in my life, the last... let's say 3.2 years have been pretty extreme in their own individual ways. And I would say last year, might have been the worst of them all. But you know what? I'm not going to. I'm going to say this instead. Last year was the best year ever.
DISCLAIMER: I currently have two blogs. One for public use, and one for personal use. I've just recently decided that there really isn't much point to be hiding much of my thoughts, and since I'm feeling like my ol' self again, anything I've ever said about someone behind them, I'd gladly say to their face. And I'd expect the same courtesy. So with that said, the following will probably be quite blunt and forward. I apologize in advance for any feelings that might get hurt, sorry you are so sensitive.
So ya, last year, no sarcasm, was the best. Why? Why do you ask could it possibly have been awesome? Sure, my grandfather died. A woman I thought might have loved me lied and manipulated me to an incredible extent and tore every shred of my own self confidence to confetti. And then another nameless individual added an additional 1% to that equation. Sure... there was a fire at my apartment complex. But... you know... It was a great year. I have become so much stronger in the last couple of months. I've realized that self loathing and self pity are pathetic. I've learned that the only person who holds you back is yourself.
I'm in a great place now. The events that had happened in the last 3 to 4 months of last year had a more of an effect on me that most people know. I finally got tired of holding on to the hope of someone coming back. I realized that they never will and never had the intentions of doing so. Which I suppose in reality is a great thing. Because in all honesty, it really does take TWO people to have love. A one sided relationship is like a table with only 2 legs on diagonal opposites. Sure it'll stand for a minute, but you put anything on it, the balancing act is over and it comes falling down pretty hard.
I've found myself again. I'm happy. I found my own happiness. My own carefree attitude. I'm very excited. Today was my birthday. I got calls, texts, myspace messages, facebook messages. It was a great feeling to have so many people say Happy Birthday. I mean, who am I? I'm just some guy who loves making people smile. There's some people that said Happy Birthday that I didn't expect would, and there's a one or two that I thought would. But once again, that's the good news. Being that they didn't say happy new year, or happy birthday, only makes the process of forgetting an existence that much easier.
I don't have much else to say on this blog, but I have ideas for the next one. So I'll wrap this one up and say...
YAY FOR 2009! New Year, New Opportunities, and New Smiles. Whoo Hoo!
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