So I have a few other blogs. One of them is 100% private, another one is semi-private (ask and you shall receive) and then there's this one. The reason I bring this up, is cause I wrote something that I found very poignant and somewhat personal, and I'd like to share a piece of it with the world:
So there's that. And, as a side note, for anyone keeping notes, my Christmas was great in New York. My New Year's Eve was stuck on my death bed with the worst possible flu I have EVER had (I'll be waiting till NEXT New Year's Eve for that kiss apparently), and my birthday has been totally rocking.
Oh and I bought a new suit. Going to the bars and clubs this weekend in my Birthday Suit!.... wait... wait... ya... that's right.
The men in my family, going back to my dad, my dad's dad, my dad's uncle, my dad's cousin, all of us have this in common: we love deeply and won't quit or stop. I've noticed this trait in every one of the guys. The relationships they've had, or are in, the love they have for their spouse, is undeniably strong and infinite. This causes me to look back at my past.
Since 2011, I've been trying to learn and grow as much as possible. I've been trying to discover my faults, and my weaknesses, and really just improve on me, as much as possible. So many things have happened since then; I've actually been told I'm a different person now by some close friends and family members. All for the better, of course.
This new realization shines so much light onto myself, that I feel way more aware now of some of the why's and how's and what's. To be completely honest here, I always felt devastated and hurt by a break-up, regardless of who's idea it was (usually mine). But the truth is, that when I love, I love so deeply and wholeheartedly, that I can't just turn it off and rip it out. Fascinating really. To think that someone like me, who appreciates his solidarity more so than others, would actually feel such an intense level of love for someone when in a relationship; so much so that it continues even beyond the end of that relationship. Am I the only one who finds that interesting and intriguing?
Good news is, that I could never cheat on anyone, it's not even relatively close to being in my blood.
Bad news is, that unless I've filled that love with someone, or something else, it can cause pain when discovering the other person has indeed moved on. Not a wonderful feeling to be honest.
Sure, I know it happens. It happens with everyone who is looking for "love" and sappiness. I've always felt it takes me longer to get past these barriers than others. Cause, to be completely honest, there will always be some small fragment of me that will love that person. The further time goes, the less it is, and the more it becomes a love of the memory, I suppose. What I can say with a 100% certainty is that We, (insert my last name)'s men, love forever and then some. Trying to pry that love away from them is futile. I can't believe this is a learned experience, or an even subconscious one, but a complete genealogy embedded personality trait. Which, I imagine, for the right woman, would be a priceless gem.
I just hate it when it hurts is all. At least I can say that when I feel love (or heartache), it's not just a little bit, but all of it.
So there's that. And, as a side note, for anyone keeping notes, my Christmas was great in New York. My New Year's Eve was stuck on my death bed with the worst possible flu I have EVER had (I'll be waiting till NEXT New Year's Eve for that kiss apparently), and my birthday has been totally rocking.
Oh and I bought a new suit. Going to the bars and clubs this weekend in my Birthday Suit!.... wait... wait... ya... that's right.