The Holidays And this Year

Well here we are. Probably my last public post for the year. I was going to have two seperate posts, one for the holidays, and one for the recap of the whole year, but I'm too lazy to go about doing that. So I'm just going to type about this last month and then start a whole new section in this blog about this year. So just as a warning, this might get pretty lengthy (That's what he said hahahahaha).
Well, let's see. I've been with family since Thanksgiving, practically everyday. I've seen my grandmother more this year than I have in a long time, and I really love my grandmother. She's the best. Even though I feel she might be losing it at times, she's still the greatest! I've also got to spend a "plethora" of time with my Uncle Gary. One of the fun-est guys I know. We are always laughing and cracking jokes. NEVER a dull moment with him. And when we are both just hanging out together, the one liners, and puns and lame jokes just keep flying around. It's great. I've also been able to see my awesome little sister Sue and her boyfriend Shawn. Which has been absolutely fantastic. Being able to spend time with both my sisters is and always will be one of the greatest memories I could have. You see, Susi lives in New York, and Kim lives on in Redlands. I see Kim semi often, maybe once or twice a month. I talk to both my little sisters often. But when we all get to hang out, mom, dad, Sue, Kim, Shawn, and Kimberly's NEW Fiance Paul, it's a lot of fun. Random traditions and fun little inside jokes and stuff just make the holiday season so great and fantastic. From making obscene and disgusting gingerbread cookies, to laughing and joking around around the dinner table. I love every minute of it. My sister leaves next week so I won't be able to spend more time with her, but at least I got to see her for Christmas.


Which brings me into a recap of this year:


Being able to see my family and get away from all the hassles and emotional distress that I've had has been soooooo therapeutic. From a crazy retarded relationship that had more ups and downs than a roller coaster created by a 3rd grader to my grandfather passing on and a fire nearly wiping out my house, this year has been full of random crap. Whereas there were negative aspects of this year, there were just as many positive notes to make as well. I had an amazing opportunity and experience to be able to work on the new Resident Evil 5 game. I was able to work with a great Face MoCap Artist named Vince and meet a ton of people who work in the industry from doing sound work, to voice overs to being the director of a movie. It really was a great time working on it, a lot of work, but just an overall amazing time to be able to get paid really well for something quite enjoyable. And in the end make a few friends and contacts that could be very instrumental in my future. I was also able to afford not one, but 4 trips this year. The first was my annual Vegas trip in April which was just amazing, aside from one tiny little hiccup in that trip, it was just great to be able to party it up with my really good friends (Jeff, Jetsun and George). After that was Comic-con in San Diego, another yearly trip, and once again my friend's and I had a fun-tastic time goofing off and club hopping. After that was a trip to Pennsylvania for 2 days and then a train ride to New York. Words couldn't explain the amount of fun that was had. Not only did I get to see my grandpa one last time and gather some priceless memories and photos of him and I, but I got to ride a train to New York and spend time with both sisters and Shawn! I also got to visit with a couple of friends out there which was also great. The day I flew back I rode on a boat, a car, a train, a subway, a bus and then a plane to get back home. Then there were a few months of relaxation at home with no work and nothing to do, which I must admit was great and not great at the same time. Thanksgiving hit, my favorite holiday ever, and after that I flew to PA to see family from all over the country and from Canada. Granted we were all there for the memorial of my grandfather, but how awesome is it to be able to see family you haven't seen since you were 3? I'll answer that for you and say, very very awesome. Second cousins, great uncles, great aunts, Uncles and Aunts, and cousins, so much family and so much laughter. 2 more days of all of them together and I would have easily had a 6 pack from laughing so much. After that was over I must say, it was nice to get home.

In retrospect of this year I would like to think I've learned a lot and grew more. Granted, last year was really tough as well. This year is the first year I actually feel like my old self. I don't feel like I've been myself in a long time, not even before I even started dating the last girl. All this family and warmth has been so good for my soul and my personal energy. I've really learned to appreciate my family with all their individual quirks and annoyances, and my friends for their great concern and help. I've learned to be more a little bit more wary of who I let into my life and not be so over the top trusting. Not so much in a "I need therapy, I'm not gonna trust anyone ever" kind of way, but more in a "I don't know you, but I'll give you a shot" kind of way. Just more cautious in general. I've also learned how important it is to keep a solid base. What I mean by that is, that for me I need to have a good grip on reality. I can still have my head in the clouds as long as my feet are still on the earth. I've accepted a lot of faults of myself and those of others as well. I'm trying to be not so... cocky? hahah... ya right. I'm still cocky, but it's more of a confidence then before. I've learned to handle situations with more of a calm-er head, and be able to look at the same situation from outside the box when possible. I think that over the last couple of years I've learned a great deal of patience. I know that it's only going to grow more as this next year begins and ends, and I'm ready for it. I'm ready for the challenges ahead. I've done my best to stop sulking and not sulk about anything anymore. So what if I've had a horrible New Year's Eve every year since I can remember, I'm not gonna let that stop me. I'm going to make an honest effort to make the end of this year a good one with my friends. I'm a bit of a romantic at heart and it sucks that there's no girl on my arm the one year that I actually don't have to work, but so what?! Next year is a new year and I got my friends and family there for me when ever I need them. The cup isn't only half full, cause I have unlimited refills.
So with that, I say live life to the fullest. Don't be stupid and dumb, but acknowledge the people in your life who care, and if they don't care at all or there is no one, then go find new ones! Every positive cliche I could say I would. Enjoy live and be smart. I'm finally feeling good and happy and I'm excited about the next year and what it might hold. I already know some things about it, some premonitions and I'm quite excited about it. See you next year my internet blog! Possibly with videos! hahaha

The East Coast Family... Represent!!!

So I'm currently out on the East Coast of America. Pennsylvania to be exact. I flew out here last week, the Friday after thanksgiving. You see, my mom's dad, my grandfather, had passed on the week prior and everyone was getting together for a funeral. It was a little rushed and I have a tiny issue with that, but all in all its been a great trip. You see, my mother is one of 6, the third child with 2 older brothers, and 2 younger sisters and 1 younger brother. Then we had my grandmother, who is the oldest of 4 and the 1st to immigrate to America from Holland with my grandfather. Then we also had my mom's cousins. So... Me, plus 6, plus 4, plus... oh man.. uh... 6 more? 16 family members from what I can guesstamate.

The funeral was held on Saturday at about 3pm. It was an awesome. Well, as awesome as a funeral could be. I've lost loved ones before, but this was different. This was really the only grandfather I knew. I won't get into specifics, but just know that my dad's dad is still alive and I don't know him really (seen him once in 2 or 3 years now?). Robert Marcel Ziegler was an awesome grandfather, and father from what I can tell. Apparently, I'm almost identical to him in looks and personality. He was such a quirky little genius. And no coward either. He fought on the Dutch Resistance durring WWII and did all kinds of various sabatouer stuff as well. Escaped from the Nazis twice! TWICE! He was one of the most amazing piano players ever. I could listen to him for hours playing the piano or the pipe organ. Just an amazing awesome man. I wish I had more chances to know him.
I actually grieved for once in my life. My normal bouts with mourning start about 3 to 6 months later and incorporate me not dealing with it at all. This was the first time I actually had to deal with it. It was different. It was difficult. I felt alone for part of it and kinda wanted to be alone too. I'm really thankful for my grandmother, mom, and aunts and uncles. I couldn't imagine how difficult this must have been. But after many tears and hugs, everyone was in better spirits.
It's really quite amazing what this family is capable of when they pull together. That night after the funeral, there was about 15 people or so, standing around in a circle in the kitchen playing one of the most ridiculous games ever to be made up by my uncles. Make a sound and keep a beat with it. Then the next person adds a their own "creative musical sound" and eventually you get everyone making a different sound. Not quite music, but extremely funny. If that wasn't enough to make you pee your pants from laughter, try playing any number of other games with them and witness the hilarity and goofball-ness that insues. If you can handle my humor and goofiness, and you know my immietate family (sisters and parents) then you can handle the rest of them. Soooooo much fun. I swear I don't think I ever laughed so hard in my life.
After all the crap that has rained down on my family and myself recently, this was a much needed trip. I'm still bummed that I missed my High School Reunion, would have been nice to see everyone, but at the same time, I'm sure I made the right choice here. It was very theraputic and really helped to bring me back to my own personal 100%. Happy attitudes and laughter... I think I've had a smile stuck on my face for days now. That's gotta be a good sign, right? hahaha. Keep an eye out on my "space-book" for new pictures from the trip. There should be some good ones.