Major Changes are in store for yours truly...

Big news people. As many of you know, I'm a stubborn person. Yes I know, it's hard to believe, but true. I'm very stubborn, and when I don't want to do something or go somewhere, I usually dig my feet in to the dirt and cross my arms and say "No, I don't wanna." Well, I haven't had a job since July, when I worked on Resident Evil 5 (ya, pretty awesome huh?). Since then I've moved into my parents house and keeping a low profile trying to save some money while the government gives me some fat pay checks, ha ha ha.
I digress. So I see an add for a job that is just perfect for me, and after some sleep and some prayer and some thought, I apply. I realize that sometimes we all have to do something we don't want to do regardless of how good it will be for us. So what is the problem? The problem is the job is outside of Orange County. It's outside of Los Angles. It's actually in Marin County which is 20 minutes north of San Fransisco. Ya. BIG move. Big big big move. Now I'm not saying I have the job yet, but I had a phone interview a week ago and it went way better than I expected. They (2k Sports) are flying me up on the 6th and taking care of me for a few days and then I'll be back on the 9th. It looks like I will be having a job soon and working on December 1st in Novato, California.
All in all this would be a great move for me. One, it will get me out of my comfort zone and help me to not be so stuck in one place. Two, it will help me be more outgoing and force me to meet new people I've never met before. Three, it will help me deal with some personal issues I have down here better than if I was to stay down here. I'll actually have something to do up there, opposed to now... which is nothing. But ya. That's my news. I would say there's an 80-85% chance that I'm moving far away from everyone that I know and love and everyone i love to hate.

Questions? Comments? Send them my way. Emails, aim, yahoo, msn, and phone numbers. I'm always online.

The Distance

The Distance by Cake, is probably one of those songs in my top 20. It's the lyrics. I feel everyone can identify with at some point. Even though the music kinda gets you a little pumped with its' anxious beat, I feel that it's actually quite a sad song.
Take these two parts of the lyrics:

In his mind he's still driving, still making the grade
She's hoping in time that her memories will fade
'Cause he's racing and pacing and plotting the course
He's fighting and biting and riding on his horse

The sun has gone down and the moon has come up
Not long ago somebody left with the cup
But he's striving and driving and hugging the turns
And thinking of someone for who he still burns

Poor guy is holding on to something that just isn't there. She's moving on, and he's still trying to hold on tight. Sad, isn't it? I bring this up, cause it came up on my itunes randomly and it got me thinking.

There's two feelings that correspond with your heart racing. A happy feeling and a dreading feeling. Oddly enough you can experience it twice in a day, or better still, in regards to the same subject. Think about how excited you were when you got to do something you've been looking forward to. Or how anxious and excited you might have been to see an old friend, or love, or family member. Your heart races beyond anything else, and you can feel it try so friggin' hard to jump right out of your chest. It's as if the blood pumping into your heart has just went into ludicrous speed. Of course on the down side there's hearing about an accident, or seeing the cops walk up to your car, or answering a phone call and it's a doctor.

Sometimes, in the bad situations, the best medicine is to calm down, deep breath, lay back and relax. Allowing your heart to over work itself can't be good. Pretending it doesn't exist or didn't happen, is even worse. Ignoring the problem doesn't work either. Running away from it... it works for a moment, but things that are bad eventually catch up to you. The best thing to do is just relax. Calm down and focus. Realize what it is that got you going, and remember that tomorrow is a new day, with new possibilities. If tomorrow is no good, then next week or the week after. Of course, other times the only way to get past it IS to ignore it. Someimtes there just.... there just isn't anything anyone can do about it and you just gotta let go and move on. Go to your own drum beat. Make your own path.

Good times are always ahead of me and I refuse to let myself trip and fall. I'll stumble, but I won't fall. I will remember the past only when I need to, otherwise, I will focus on the future.

Dating sites are funny

It's amazing to me how many people go on these sites. There are soooooooo many of them and yet each one claims to have "the most people signing up everyday" or the most members in general. But really, it's the same people on each site, you could find the same person on 3 sites easily. Some sites even say how they aren't dating, but just for making new friends. HA. Come on. Really? Nobody truly is only looking for new friends. Human beings are curious by nature. A site that promotes dating and friendship or some form of relations is a curiosity to those who aren't happy in their personal relations with people in the real world. Don't get me wrong, it's tough. I mean the bar scene and clubs are absolutely retarded with people who are self absorbed and self centered. Granted, I'm in Southern California, so I can only speak from experience down here. And I'm not saying that everyone in those scenes are stuck up and selfish, no not at all. But most of them are. There's a select few that aren't... but they disappear in a crowd easily and are most likely sick of the scene as well. So where do these people go? No where. They keep going to the same place, but use the internet sites to help them in their pursuit. I can't blame them really. It's very unobtrusive. It's a great idea for the most part. The awkwardness in person is almost unbearable, plus there's the whole crowd of people that surround you in a club or bar, and it's usually too loud to even say anything to anyone. Most of the time you sit there nodding and smiling and laughing to something you can't even hear. But they look like a nice person and you, being the nice person as well, just go along with it. The sad thing is that the internet sites don't filter the scum out. In the public scenes you can filter them out just by looking at them, most of the time, if you're a good judge of character. But on dating sites, not so much. Women don't even have to respond if they don't want to, and guys are able to be more perverted online then in person. Nothing to hide online, plus, you'll never meet the person anyways, so what's it matter? hahah. I'm not one of those guys. I wouldn't start ranting about this stuff if I was. I'm not that strategic and/or manipulative in my writing as to go as far as to portray something I'm not. That's just stupid. I have nothing to hide.

The pictures are also funny to me. I notice a lot of women with their heads tilted to their left and also a lot of pictures from an odd angle above their head looking down. Plus there's almost always a cleavage shot. Don't misunderstand me here, I love boobs just as much as the next guy, if not more. But honestly? What are you trying to portray here? Okay... nice boobs, got it. What does that say about your personality though? Does this mean you're easy or that you're just proud of what god gave ya? Then I see the complaints that women put up about how "I'm not a one night stand girl so stop asking". Really?? Guys actually ask that? Come on men, have a little dignity, seriously. How pathetic is it when a guy has to email a girl who he doesn't even know on some website that he only saw in an add from myspace, to have sex with him for one night, hopefully tonight...? For real? I'm blown away by the audacity that some guys have to be that forward. Does that actually work for them? Do women actually agree to something so insane and rude? If they do, I'm glad I haven't met them. Imagine how messed up their personal life is that they feel the only kind of affection they could get is from a total stranger that they only exchanged emails and text messages with twice... and that was only to find out where to go and what time.
Wow.
To everyone else that is actually trying on those sites. Good luck. I've "heard" of people having success on there. The whole thing is quite humorous to me. I'm not hating on anyone that is actually giving it a shot. I can't blame you actually. I totally understand how "the scenes" are lame and quite fake.

I guess the way of the future is changing. No longer will people say "oh, we met through a friend" or "at a party" or "a bar". Nope. Now it'll be "Oh we met on eHarmony" or "Plenty Of Fish" or "Match.com".

Good times indeed. hahahaha.

I suppose...

I should feel great that my friends think of me on occasion. But could someone please explain to me why they feel the need to show me every disgusting and disturbing image they find on youtube or google? Sure, some of it isn't so bad, and most of it is quite funny. But things such as the "the biggest zit" or "tubgirl" or even the subject matter of a girl and a Bengal Tiger... A BENGAL TIGER!!! Ya. All of those are wrong. Just sick and wrong and disturbing. Maybe it's my reaction that they enjoy and the faces I make. I won't lie, I make crude jokes from time to time. I say things out of line and out of the blue, from time to time. I might even say some random things... from time to time. But I don't feel that my behavior, or personality requires more immoral and disgusting images to be seen to my "innocent" little mind. Like I said in the beginning, it's nice that my friends think of me, and I'm very appreciative of it. I think I'm more just curious to know why. Why on earth do they immediately think of me at the first view of such horrible nonsense? What have I done to create such a vision in their eyes? Please keep in mind that I'm not angry at all, but more confused and seeking information as to why this might be? I'm haunted by some very wrong visions that have been shown by family and friends. Am I truely that sick and twisted? Good god, I hope not.

Still... it IS quite funny the crap that they send me. And I still laugh when i look at it.