Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Nuclear pool droppings
Okay, for starters, I've been keeping a small log of my dreams and nightmares... its weird stuff. But I decided to start making them public... maybe you got something more interesting to say about it? Anyways, I'll tell the dreams, recap the main points of it, then look up those points on dreammoods.com. I find it interesting.
So I had 2 dreams, actually nightmares. The first one last for probably the full hour of the first of my sleep, I remember walking up an hour later. This dream seemed super real. One of my close friends had died in the dream. He choked on a piece of food. I remember standing there being told he died, and thinking about how I had just hung out with him earlier that night. Then as I leave the room I was told in, I walk right into a warehouse where all his stuff is being sold, like a supermarker... but its a warehouse. It was weird, I remember getting super pissed and trying to grab some of the stuff, but the one lady there wasn't too forgiving and kept saying that she is trying to sell stuff. Then I was told how he choked on food, and I started thinking "Hey, he's a smart guy, he wouldn't have died from that, because he would know how to dislodge the food or at least get help" and that was enough brain activity to get me to wake up. It was so real, it was scary. Then I go back to sleep only to walk right into another nightmare. For starters every body of water, ocean, lake or river had chlorine in it... not salt. Same with pools. And I had just got out of the pool thinking about how they should put salt in it to keep clean, not chlorine. Well there I am standing in the middle of the road on the side of a mountain, with a perfect view of Los Angles. I'm talkin' to some guy who says he has these rocks that when you put them in the water, they purify the water... and the glow in the dark too! HAHA... I laughed and looked into the bucket and saw just regular rocks. Whatever. Then I look out towards the view of LA and notice that the sun is setting... but the sky is just a light, semi dark blue. I look at the rocks again and they are glowing different shades of green, "Huh, they DO glow in the dark, haha." Then, all of a sudden the sky turns black... like midnight black. I look at the guy and we both think, wow that was weird. Then there's a HUGE bright light, and where LA was, is a giant growing glowing orange and red and yellow ball.... which turns into a MUSHROOM CLOUD! I look at the guy, and we both say HOLY SHIT! And run... I start running cause i know I'm gonna feel the wind from the explosion. I try and grab something on the side of the road, and notice a huge metal door in the ground, a bomb shelter, I try and grab it, but the wind already got me... I wake up.
Ya. So, let's recap, death of a friend, warehouse, choking, pool with crystal clear water and some ripples in it, green rocks, a hill, red yellow and orange, and an explosion and massive wind. All those subjects.
DEATH
To dream about the death of a loved one, suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality that the loved one embodies. Ask yourself what makes this person special or what do you like about him. It is that very quality that you are lacking in your own relationship or circumstances. Alternatively, it indicates that whatever that person represents has no part in your own life.
To dream of your own death, indicates a transitional phase in your life. You are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Alternatively, you are trying desperately to escape the demands of your daily life.
WAREHOUSE
To see a warehouse in your dream, represents stored energy or hidden resources. They also refer to memories. You may also be putting your ambitions and goals on hold.
CHOKING
To dream that you are choking on an object, suggests that you may find some advice/remarks/situation hard to swallow or difficult to accept. In particular, if you are choking on food, then it may be an expression of self-guilt and unnurtured feelings.
To dream that someone is choking you, indicates that you are suppressing your emotions or that you may have difficulties in expressing your fears, anger, or love. Consider the phrase "being all choked up". Alternatively, you may feel that you are being prevented or restricted from freely expressing yourself.
To dream that you are choking someone, signifies feelings of aggression. You may also be trying to prevent something from being said or revealed.
Choking dreams are often a fearful experience and it is not uncommon for dreamers to awaken from them.
POOL
To see a pool of water in your dream, indicates that you need to understand and deal with your emotions. You need to dive right in. Alternatively, a pool may indicate your need for cleansing. You need to wash away the past.
WATER
To see water in your dream, symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment. If the water is calm, clear, then it signifies that you are in tune with your spirituality. It denotes serenity, peace of mind, and rejuvenation.
ROCKS
To see rocks in your dream, signifies permanence and stability as expressed in the familiar phrase "as solid as a rock". It may also indicate that you are making a commitment to a relationship. Or you may be contemplating some changes in your life that will lay the groundwork for a more solid foundation. On the other hand rocks may also symbolize stubbornness, disharmony and unhappiness.
BLUE GREEN ORANGE RED YELLOW
Blue represents truth, wisdom, heaven, eternity, devotion, tranquility, loyalty and openness. The presence of this color in your dream, may symbolize your spiritual guide and your optimism of the future. You have clarity of mind.
Depending on the context of your dream, the color blue may also be a metaphor of "being blue" and feeling sad.
Green signifies a positive change, good health, growth, healing, hope, vigor, vitality, peace, and serenity. Green is also symbolic of your strive to gain recognition and establish your independence. Money, wealth and jealousy are often associated with this color.
Dark green indicates materialism, cheating, deceit, and/or difficulties with sharing. You need to balance between your masculine and feminine attributes.
Orange denotes friendliness, courtesy, lively, sociability, and an out-going nature. You may want to expand your horizons and look into new interests.
Red is an indication of raw energy, force, vigor, intense passion, aggression, power, courage and passion. The color red has deep emotional and spiritual connotations.
Red is also the color of danger, shame, sexual impulses and urges. Perhaps you need to stop and think about your actions.
The color yellow has both positive and negative connotations. If the dream is a pleasant one, then the color yellow is symbolic of intellect, energy, agility, happiness, harmony, and wisdom. On the other hand, if the dream is an unpleasant one, then the color represents cowardice and sickness. You may have a fear or an inability to make a decision or take action. As a result, you are experiencing many setbacks.
EXPLOSIONS
To see explosions in your dream, signifies a loss and displeasure in business. It may also mean that your repressed emotions and rage have come to the surface in a forceful and violent manner.
WIND
To dream of blowing winds, symbolizes your life force, energy, and vigor. It reflects changes in your life. To dream of strong or gusty winds, represents turmoil and trouble for you. You are experiencing much stress in some waking situation.
So I had 2 dreams, actually nightmares. The first one last for probably the full hour of the first of my sleep, I remember walking up an hour later. This dream seemed super real. One of my close friends had died in the dream. He choked on a piece of food. I remember standing there being told he died, and thinking about how I had just hung out with him earlier that night. Then as I leave the room I was told in, I walk right into a warehouse where all his stuff is being sold, like a supermarker... but its a warehouse. It was weird, I remember getting super pissed and trying to grab some of the stuff, but the one lady there wasn't too forgiving and kept saying that she is trying to sell stuff. Then I was told how he choked on food, and I started thinking "Hey, he's a smart guy, he wouldn't have died from that, because he would know how to dislodge the food or at least get help" and that was enough brain activity to get me to wake up. It was so real, it was scary. Then I go back to sleep only to walk right into another nightmare. For starters every body of water, ocean, lake or river had chlorine in it... not salt. Same with pools. And I had just got out of the pool thinking about how they should put salt in it to keep clean, not chlorine. Well there I am standing in the middle of the road on the side of a mountain, with a perfect view of Los Angles. I'm talkin' to some guy who says he has these rocks that when you put them in the water, they purify the water... and the glow in the dark too! HAHA... I laughed and looked into the bucket and saw just regular rocks. Whatever. Then I look out towards the view of LA and notice that the sun is setting... but the sky is just a light, semi dark blue. I look at the rocks again and they are glowing different shades of green, "Huh, they DO glow in the dark, haha." Then, all of a sudden the sky turns black... like midnight black. I look at the guy and we both think, wow that was weird. Then there's a HUGE bright light, and where LA was, is a giant growing glowing orange and red and yellow ball.... which turns into a MUSHROOM CLOUD! I look at the guy, and we both say HOLY SHIT! And run... I start running cause i know I'm gonna feel the wind from the explosion. I try and grab something on the side of the road, and notice a huge metal door in the ground, a bomb shelter, I try and grab it, but the wind already got me... I wake up.
Ya. So, let's recap, death of a friend, warehouse, choking, pool with crystal clear water and some ripples in it, green rocks, a hill, red yellow and orange, and an explosion and massive wind. All those subjects.
DEATH
To dream about the death of a loved one, suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality that the loved one embodies. Ask yourself what makes this person special or what do you like about him. It is that very quality that you are lacking in your own relationship or circumstances. Alternatively, it indicates that whatever that person represents has no part in your own life.
To dream of your own death, indicates a transitional phase in your life. You are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Alternatively, you are trying desperately to escape the demands of your daily life.
WAREHOUSE
To see a warehouse in your dream, represents stored energy or hidden resources. They also refer to memories. You may also be putting your ambitions and goals on hold.
CHOKING
To dream that you are choking on an object, suggests that you may find some advice/remarks/situation hard to swallow or difficult to accept. In particular, if you are choking on food, then it may be an expression of self-guilt and unnurtured feelings.
To dream that someone is choking you, indicates that you are suppressing your emotions or that you may have difficulties in expressing your fears, anger, or love. Consider the phrase "being all choked up". Alternatively, you may feel that you are being prevented or restricted from freely expressing yourself.
To dream that you are choking someone, signifies feelings of aggression. You may also be trying to prevent something from being said or revealed.
Choking dreams are often a fearful experience and it is not uncommon for dreamers to awaken from them.
POOL
To see a pool of water in your dream, indicates that you need to understand and deal with your emotions. You need to dive right in. Alternatively, a pool may indicate your need for cleansing. You need to wash away the past.
WATER
To see water in your dream, symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment. If the water is calm, clear, then it signifies that you are in tune with your spirituality. It denotes serenity, peace of mind, and rejuvenation.
ROCKS
To see rocks in your dream, signifies permanence and stability as expressed in the familiar phrase "as solid as a rock". It may also indicate that you are making a commitment to a relationship. Or you may be contemplating some changes in your life that will lay the groundwork for a more solid foundation. On the other hand rocks may also symbolize stubbornness, disharmony and unhappiness.
BLUE GREEN ORANGE RED YELLOW
Blue represents truth, wisdom, heaven, eternity, devotion, tranquility, loyalty and openness. The presence of this color in your dream, may symbolize your spiritual guide and your optimism of the future. You have clarity of mind.
Depending on the context of your dream, the color blue may also be a metaphor of "being blue" and feeling sad.
Green signifies a positive change, good health, growth, healing, hope, vigor, vitality, peace, and serenity. Green is also symbolic of your strive to gain recognition and establish your independence. Money, wealth and jealousy are often associated with this color.
Dark green indicates materialism, cheating, deceit, and/or difficulties with sharing. You need to balance between your masculine and feminine attributes.
Orange denotes friendliness, courtesy, lively, sociability, and an out-going nature. You may want to expand your horizons and look into new interests.
Red is an indication of raw energy, force, vigor, intense passion, aggression, power, courage and passion. The color red has deep emotional and spiritual connotations.
Red is also the color of danger, shame, sexual impulses and urges. Perhaps you need to stop and think about your actions.
The color yellow has both positive and negative connotations. If the dream is a pleasant one, then the color yellow is symbolic of intellect, energy, agility, happiness, harmony, and wisdom. On the other hand, if the dream is an unpleasant one, then the color represents cowardice and sickness. You may have a fear or an inability to make a decision or take action. As a result, you are experiencing many setbacks.
EXPLOSIONS
To see explosions in your dream, signifies a loss and displeasure in business. It may also mean that your repressed emotions and rage have come to the surface in a forceful and violent manner.
WIND
To dream of blowing winds, symbolizes your life force, energy, and vigor. It reflects changes in your life. To dream of strong or gusty winds, represents turmoil and trouble for you. You are experiencing much stress in some waking situation.
Other nonsense in my head
So I've had a lot of time to myself recently due to the fact that I'm not working right now (my contract went up so I'm just enjoying time off). And I've had a lot of time to think. My mind wanders considerably and most of the time it's really nothing worth writing down in my "memoirs". But lately I've been thinking about the word love.
That's a pretty strong word ya know? I mean. Lots of people tend to throw it around and I'd like to think they know what it means. But that's a really really strong word. Sure, you got variant degrees of the word love. I love ice cream and dark chocolate. But I'm not a freak who likes to, you know, do stuff with it. That's called a "fetish" kids, not love (or just overly obessive, and in which case requires a psychatric evaluation).
There's love for your friends, family love, love for your pets, love of your hobbies, love in the admiration of someone else. But what about the love of a spouse, or a romantic partner. I think it's possible to love a few people in your life, and even to fall into love even fewer than that. But what about true love. Nah. I don't think that exists. I think that when you are in love with someone, that that would be the truest form of love. Making it a true love, yes, but not a true love in the definition of fairy tales. True love is that ever deeping love you have for someone. The kind that makes you do stupid things without thought. The kind that is so hard to resist that it's nearly impossible to let go of the person. It's the kind where you can't think of anyone else but them. It's a great and evil love all at the same time. I'm pretty positive that it's not easy to fall out of "true love" as it is to just fall out of regular love. If you love someone you can start to dislike them and get annoyed by them and eventually just not want to be with them anymore. But if you are "in" love, which would be my definition of true love, then you take the good with the bad.... sortaspeak. Sure there's things that annoy you and things you don't like, but you accept it because thats who they are and thats what they do. There's just too many positives to view any of the negatives.
Now I don't think any of this makes me a romantic by any means, but it's just a thought that goes through my head. When people say I love you, what do they mean by that? Obviously I can cross off family and friends on the list, cause I know how they mean it. But what about the romantic relationship? What about afterwards? When all is over and it didn't work but they still say it? What's the point at that time for saying those words? It's not like it has the same meaning, right? It's lost its depth. It's like firing your best cook and telling him that you'll miss his cooking. What's the point in firing the guy in the first place?!?! Seems kinda futile and stupid if you ask me. I mean if there was still potential in a possibility of random circumstances sporadically changing to maybe have a spark again, then sure, why not I guess. But isn't that just leading the poor sap on? Is "sap" a gender specific term? I don't think it is, I use it as a non-gender specific term here.
So I guess I'm actually contradicting myself here. I do believe in true love, but only if "true love" means to be "in love".
I've been on that road. Unfortunatly that particular road has come to a dead end a couple of times and I've had to go back and try a different path, but I'm hopeful that eventually I'll find a road that doesn't have a dead end.
You know what the worst part about being me is? Is that I can actually argue this whole thing and convince myself that I'm wrong. This paragraph started concieted, I realize that, and it wasn't intentional. I was just mearly trying to make the point that everything I said above I could easily argue and most likely convince myself that I'm wrong... and somehow get me to buy myself a coke. I suppose now that I've said all this you, being the reader, feel like you've just wasted your time, grasping the reality that Matt has no idea what he's talking about. Yep. That's right. Most of the nonsense I write doesn't make any sense.... no different from when I actually try and have a conversation. HAHA. So... uh... congratulations on wasting your time! I win.
That's a pretty strong word ya know? I mean. Lots of people tend to throw it around and I'd like to think they know what it means. But that's a really really strong word. Sure, you got variant degrees of the word love. I love ice cream and dark chocolate. But I'm not a freak who likes to, you know, do stuff with it. That's called a "fetish" kids, not love (or just overly obessive, and in which case requires a psychatric evaluation).
There's love for your friends, family love, love for your pets, love of your hobbies, love in the admiration of someone else. But what about the love of a spouse, or a romantic partner. I think it's possible to love a few people in your life, and even to fall into love even fewer than that. But what about true love. Nah. I don't think that exists. I think that when you are in love with someone, that that would be the truest form of love. Making it a true love, yes, but not a true love in the definition of fairy tales. True love is that ever deeping love you have for someone. The kind that makes you do stupid things without thought. The kind that is so hard to resist that it's nearly impossible to let go of the person. It's the kind where you can't think of anyone else but them. It's a great and evil love all at the same time. I'm pretty positive that it's not easy to fall out of "true love" as it is to just fall out of regular love. If you love someone you can start to dislike them and get annoyed by them and eventually just not want to be with them anymore. But if you are "in" love, which would be my definition of true love, then you take the good with the bad.... sortaspeak. Sure there's things that annoy you and things you don't like, but you accept it because thats who they are and thats what they do. There's just too many positives to view any of the negatives.
Now I don't think any of this makes me a romantic by any means, but it's just a thought that goes through my head. When people say I love you, what do they mean by that? Obviously I can cross off family and friends on the list, cause I know how they mean it. But what about the romantic relationship? What about afterwards? When all is over and it didn't work but they still say it? What's the point at that time for saying those words? It's not like it has the same meaning, right? It's lost its depth. It's like firing your best cook and telling him that you'll miss his cooking. What's the point in firing the guy in the first place?!?! Seems kinda futile and stupid if you ask me. I mean if there was still potential in a possibility of random circumstances sporadically changing to maybe have a spark again, then sure, why not I guess. But isn't that just leading the poor sap on? Is "sap" a gender specific term? I don't think it is, I use it as a non-gender specific term here.
So I guess I'm actually contradicting myself here. I do believe in true love, but only if "true love" means to be "in love".
I've been on that road. Unfortunatly that particular road has come to a dead end a couple of times and I've had to go back and try a different path, but I'm hopeful that eventually I'll find a road that doesn't have a dead end.
You know what the worst part about being me is? Is that I can actually argue this whole thing and convince myself that I'm wrong. This paragraph started concieted, I realize that, and it wasn't intentional. I was just mearly trying to make the point that everything I said above I could easily argue and most likely convince myself that I'm wrong... and somehow get me to buy myself a coke. I suppose now that I've said all this you, being the reader, feel like you've just wasted your time, grasping the reality that Matt has no idea what he's talking about. Yep. That's right. Most of the nonsense I write doesn't make any sense.... no different from when I actually try and have a conversation. HAHA. So... uh... congratulations on wasting your time! I win.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
This picture is totally New York
Monday, August 4, 2008
Ahh New York...
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Just the first sentence of the picture..
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