Hi. Remember me? I kinda do. I'm that weird guy who has become a bit of a turtle... actually, more like a rare unicorn groundhog who comes out of his cave/hole every so often in a rare moment of socializing.
Where have I been? Working. Doing two jobs; the one that is reliable for income (part time after school untrained teacher) and the one that isn't reliable for income, Content Creator.
Quick run down on what exactly I do, and how my week is spent as a content creator. The bulk of my time is spent online, in front of a camera, at my desk, playing video games, that are live streamed to specific streaming platform/service, where people can interact with me via a chat room. I've got a mic, camera, and some consoles setup through my PC to stream LIVE a game I'm playing. Why would people watch this? For a few reasons: maybe because they want to see how the game-play is on a game before they buy it? Maybe because they are hoping to make more friends who play said game so they can play with those people later? Maybe they just want a community of like minded gamers who they can hang out with and chat, because social anxiety is a REAL THING. Maybe they want to be entertained, plain and simple. Imagine watching a sporting event, or TV show, but being able to chat with people online about the show/movie/sporting event, in real time as it was happening. Pretty cool, right? Sure.
So how many hours do I spend JUST streaming? Bare minimum, only counting the actual scheduled hours, we're looking at 35 hrs. How many do I normally stream per week? 40-60 hrs. This doesn't include social media (twitter/discord (community chat room)) which can take another 4-5 hrs a week, AND it doesn't include email responses to game offers, promo opportunities, etc. AND it also doesn't include graphics (which I make myself) to update my stream channel. It also doesn't include networking with fellow streamers to grow my brand, nor does it include researching new games and the potential for those. Grand total estimated time spent? 55-70 hrs a week.
Originally I started this idea out as a simple goal, without realizing the amount of work involved. I wanted to act. I wanted to entertain. Recently I realized what I really want, and that's to make people laugh. My thought was, "I don't have money for acting classes, or to drive up to LA for auditions all the time. so why not do what I love, play games and record/stream it to make money" Sounded simple at first, and I thought it would be. Turns out I was wrong. But this isn't a bad thing. All of the work I've put in, all the time spent, the anxiety and late nights I've gotten. The frustrations and anger I've endured, it's been worth it so far. I love video games, and I do generally love streaming. But this goal was only to be successful after 5 years. It's been about 3.5 now and lately, I don't feel like it's really becoming worth it as much.
This could be my depression, which has taken a very odd turn as of late. Normally my confidence is fine and healthy, I'm just down and sad and feel crappy. But this time it's made me feel doubt. LOTS of doubt. I'm unsure if I've made a good choice here. I watch as other communities and streamers get donations semi regularly, or even gain subscribers (paying viewers) who support the channel. Some of them have less follows than I do, others have a tremendous amount. Regardless, they are financially succeeding, whereas I am actually not... not even close.
I want to say that it's not about the money, it's about the fun of the game and entertaining people, which it is, but I'd be an idiot and bad businessperson if I didn't say that I'm concerned about the financial aspect of this choice. I'm not even making minimum wage per hour doing this, as far as I can tell. There are few months a year where things are great with money donations and subscribers (subs), but there is a good chunk of that where I don't make any money. I mean, I do, but it's NOT enough to cover my basic needs or bills.
On top of this, I've seen a lot of my regulars and moderators for my chat disappear. Right after I said "Hey, this is what I need" and gave a rundown of stuff, I barely see anyone except for 3 of the 16+ I have. Which can be very difficult for me when I can get a chat of 100+ people. Oh, and let's talk about that 100+ people. Those are MOSTLY children. Ya. Children. Do children have money? Maybe, but not to donate. Do they have a parent that's monitoring their behavior online? NOPE! This is an extreme sore spot for me. The follows I get from them are empty. Kids just like to click buttons, and that's exactly what they do.
I've switched stuff up recently, playing more adult rated games (story driven with language and some violence) but I don't know who it's bringing in. I'm getting new regulars showing up, which is great and all, but I'm still struggling. All the work I've put in so far and I feel like nobody cares. I'm not going to ask for donations, cause that's bad form, but I'm definitely not happy about my situation. Over the past 2 weeks, I've honestly considered just quitting and looking for a real job, maybe something as a Social Media analyst or some crap.
I'm just tired of trying so hard and feeling like a failure. I don't know what I'm doing wrong and I don't know how to fix that. 15k follows, and regularly 30-50+ concurrent viewers and I'll go weeks with no donations or subs. Others get 10s-100s and I have NO idea.
I just... I love it, but that isn't enough anymore. Do I keep going the last 1.5 years? Is that really worth it? Or should I just stop now and just let it become a hobby?
Outside of this? Everything is wonderfully perfect. My wife is amazing. I just can't figure out what I'm doing with my professional life choices.
sigh.
Where have I been? Working. Doing two jobs; the one that is reliable for income (part time after school untrained teacher) and the one that isn't reliable for income, Content Creator.
Quick run down on what exactly I do, and how my week is spent as a content creator. The bulk of my time is spent online, in front of a camera, at my desk, playing video games, that are live streamed to specific streaming platform/service, where people can interact with me via a chat room. I've got a mic, camera, and some consoles setup through my PC to stream LIVE a game I'm playing. Why would people watch this? For a few reasons: maybe because they want to see how the game-play is on a game before they buy it? Maybe because they are hoping to make more friends who play said game so they can play with those people later? Maybe they just want a community of like minded gamers who they can hang out with and chat, because social anxiety is a REAL THING. Maybe they want to be entertained, plain and simple. Imagine watching a sporting event, or TV show, but being able to chat with people online about the show/movie/sporting event, in real time as it was happening. Pretty cool, right? Sure.
So how many hours do I spend JUST streaming? Bare minimum, only counting the actual scheduled hours, we're looking at 35 hrs. How many do I normally stream per week? 40-60 hrs. This doesn't include social media (twitter/discord (community chat room)) which can take another 4-5 hrs a week, AND it doesn't include email responses to game offers, promo opportunities, etc. AND it also doesn't include graphics (which I make myself) to update my stream channel. It also doesn't include networking with fellow streamers to grow my brand, nor does it include researching new games and the potential for those. Grand total estimated time spent? 55-70 hrs a week.
Originally I started this idea out as a simple goal, without realizing the amount of work involved. I wanted to act. I wanted to entertain. Recently I realized what I really want, and that's to make people laugh. My thought was, "I don't have money for acting classes, or to drive up to LA for auditions all the time. so why not do what I love, play games and record/stream it to make money" Sounded simple at first, and I thought it would be. Turns out I was wrong. But this isn't a bad thing. All of the work I've put in, all the time spent, the anxiety and late nights I've gotten. The frustrations and anger I've endured, it's been worth it so far. I love video games, and I do generally love streaming. But this goal was only to be successful after 5 years. It's been about 3.5 now and lately, I don't feel like it's really becoming worth it as much.
This could be my depression, which has taken a very odd turn as of late. Normally my confidence is fine and healthy, I'm just down and sad and feel crappy. But this time it's made me feel doubt. LOTS of doubt. I'm unsure if I've made a good choice here. I watch as other communities and streamers get donations semi regularly, or even gain subscribers (paying viewers) who support the channel. Some of them have less follows than I do, others have a tremendous amount. Regardless, they are financially succeeding, whereas I am actually not... not even close.
I want to say that it's not about the money, it's about the fun of the game and entertaining people, which it is, but I'd be an idiot and bad businessperson if I didn't say that I'm concerned about the financial aspect of this choice. I'm not even making minimum wage per hour doing this, as far as I can tell. There are few months a year where things are great with money donations and subscribers (subs), but there is a good chunk of that where I don't make any money. I mean, I do, but it's NOT enough to cover my basic needs or bills.
On top of this, I've seen a lot of my regulars and moderators for my chat disappear. Right after I said "Hey, this is what I need" and gave a rundown of stuff, I barely see anyone except for 3 of the 16+ I have. Which can be very difficult for me when I can get a chat of 100+ people. Oh, and let's talk about that 100+ people. Those are MOSTLY children. Ya. Children. Do children have money? Maybe, but not to donate. Do they have a parent that's monitoring their behavior online? NOPE! This is an extreme sore spot for me. The follows I get from them are empty. Kids just like to click buttons, and that's exactly what they do.
I've switched stuff up recently, playing more adult rated games (story driven with language and some violence) but I don't know who it's bringing in. I'm getting new regulars showing up, which is great and all, but I'm still struggling. All the work I've put in so far and I feel like nobody cares. I'm not going to ask for donations, cause that's bad form, but I'm definitely not happy about my situation. Over the past 2 weeks, I've honestly considered just quitting and looking for a real job, maybe something as a Social Media analyst or some crap.
I'm just tired of trying so hard and feeling like a failure. I don't know what I'm doing wrong and I don't know how to fix that. 15k follows, and regularly 30-50+ concurrent viewers and I'll go weeks with no donations or subs. Others get 10s-100s and I have NO idea.
I just... I love it, but that isn't enough anymore. Do I keep going the last 1.5 years? Is that really worth it? Or should I just stop now and just let it become a hobby?
Outside of this? Everything is wonderfully perfect. My wife is amazing. I just can't figure out what I'm doing with my professional life choices.
sigh.
